NUTS & BOATS
The twice monthly newsletter for to-be and already-are cruisers Issue #11 - December 1, 2003
Publisher: Trish Lambert
www.takehersailing.com
(C) P. Lambert 2003
Welcome to new subscribers who have signed up through www.takehersailing.com! IN THIS ISSUE
THIS ISSUE'S COOL CRUISING QUOTEIf you are contemplating a voyage, and you have the means,
abandon the venture until your fortunes change.
Only then will you know what the sea is all about. Sterling Hayden
Send me your cool cruising quotes and I will include them in future issues!
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A (LITTLE) CRUISING CONTROVERSY
A Boy and His Boat by Trish Lambert There is something about the relationship between a man and his boat that a woman can never completely understand. I say this after living with three boats and three boys, and I say it with a sort of fascination. In every single case-Dan with Brandy, Jim with Ciao Bella, and Skip with Nehallenia-there was something to the way my partner related to our boat that was beyond me. It is as if they consider the boat a living being, another intimate relationship in their lives. This notion didn't completely crystallize for me until Skip and I got together. I'm off the boat part of time, working in another state and more or less in another universe divorced from the cruising world, so I'm not around for a lot of the down and dirty maintenance that Skip spends his days on. We had a conversation about this a while back where Skip expressed his surprise that I don't feel as strong a pull to be on the boat as he does. "It's probably because you haven't worked on her like I do," he said. "You haven't delved into all the systems and single handed her the way I've done." I've thought about that supposition, and I don't think that's it. I delved into Ciao Bella during the three years she, Jim, and I traveled in Latin America, and I still didn't come close to the depth of emotion that Jim expressed about "his" boat. I appreciate Nehalennia and I suppose in a way I love her, but it doesn't seem to be the same kind of bond that Skip has with her. Dan showed the same kind of mindset-almost as if the human female on the cruise could be replaced with no qualm, and that the boat was really his primary cruising partner. I think that there is a marked difference between the view that men and women have of their cruising boats, and I do think that it is gender-based. Skip agrees with me-and he thinks that it goes beyond boats. He reminisces about the cars he owned when he was a teenager and during his college years as if they were old girlfriends. Beyond girlfriends actually, because he will go into wistful and excruciating detail about how he rebuilt this one or that one, which is something you can't do with a girlfriend (usually). Prior to owning Ciao Bella, Jim was a Ford Mustang aficionado, and spent many years lovingly tricking out a fleet of cars inside and out. Prior to getting into cruising, Dan was a motorcycle buff, and talked about his bike as if it were a living being. I've seen this gender-separation over and over again in the cruising village. Get a group of us together in a bar or at a potluck, and after a while there will be kind of a "boys on one side, girls on the other" separation-with the boys talking gear and the girls talking recipes. Even if the group stays mixed, it is highly likely that the conversation will be dominated by boats, equipment, tactics, and personal sea stories that illustrate the greatness of the storyteller's vessel. I've also seen conversations get very heated when there is a difference of opinion about a particular tactic or piece of equipment-a few times I half expected the warring parties to "take it outside." I often sit by and watch these conversations, fascinated by the degree to which the skippers appear to have invested themselves, who they are, into their boats. They aren't nearly coming to blows over a piece of equipment-they act as if they are defending their honor, their reputation, their loved one. It's like watching a different species. Talk among the first mates does revolve around cruising-how could it not when it's the lifestyle we are steeped in? But I have never seen the women get defensive or belligerent in the course of comparing notes with their sea sisters. And we tend to go farther afield in our topics, talking about family back home or shopping experiences in some of the far-flung ports we've visited. The tips we swap are more often hints-from-Heloise type things-how to get rid of mildew inside the cabin, how to keep weevils from ruining the flour, that sort of thing. And we either overtly or covertly refer to our bafflement regarding our cruising partners' view of our boats. "That boat is like his second wife," I've heard more than one first mate say. I am neither inclined nor qualified to get into the Mars-Venus psychology of boys and girls and their boats. Maybe someone will do a research study on this someday. The main reason I'm bringing this up is that I think that a skipper and first mate need to understand that there is very likely a difference between how each relates to their boat. The quality of their cruising life will be greatly enhanced if both parties can accommodate the other's viewpoint I do love Nehalennia, and I loved Ciao Bella and Brandy. I could even say that I've related to them as if they were alive in some way. How can I think of boat in strictly mechanical terms when she seems to gallop over the waves like a horse kept too long in the stall, or stubbornly refuses to pull her nose through the wind? My emotional attachment, though, has always fallen far short of my partner's. I know that the boat's behavior simply comes down to physics, and she is, when all is said and done, a man-made vehicle. If there is a bottom line here, I thinking this is it: Ladies, don't be surprised if he expresses a surprising degree of emotion about your boat, or if you feel some competition with or jealousy about his relationship with her. And, gentlemen, don't be surprised if she isn't as gaga about the boat as you are, or seems annoyed with you when you've been talking about her for hours and in great detail with your buddies!
THE VIRTUAL ANCHORAGE TAKE HER SAILING'S ONLINE DISCUSSION BOARD IS COMING SOON!!! Our moderators are on board and the infrastructure is almost ready. So later this month Take Her Sailing's Virtual Anchorage will be ready to visit! In addition to the general discussion area, we will start off with areas specifically about cruising boats, do-it-yourself work, and first mates' questions. I will let you know via e-mail when the board is up and running and ready for you to put the hook down! I look forward to "talking" to you there!
A CRUISER'S EYE VIEW
Confessions of a Reluctant Single Hander By Skip RandallI am definitely not another Slocum or Chichester. Those legends of the sea sought out, preferred, and craved being alone at sea. They both wrote of feeling regret at having to put into port with the unwelcome intrusion of people and land life on their open sea solitude. I'm not built like that. Sure, I love being at the helm with a salty breeze in my face, and I even enjoy the challenge of facing a storm with double-reefed main. But I also like to look across the cockpit and seeing someone there, someone I can trust and rely on and talk with. There are certainly safety issues connected with soloing versus sailing with a partner; danger faced as part of a double team is diminished, at least psychologically. There are also, for me, "quality of life" issues- safety issues aside, I am unabashedly social and just flat-out like to have people around me. A beautiful sight or experience that is shared is enhanced, and I like the reassurance and interplay of having a partner aboard. Sure, I have an occasional need for personal space and solitude. Small doses, though, not a steady diet. So it was with a lot of reluctance, a little consternation, and a dash of raw fear that I cast off the dock lines in St. Augustine, Florida last spring to head south on the Intracoastal Waterway. My sailing (and life) partner, Trish, had flown back to her consulting assignment in Houston the day before, and would be meeting me in Stuart twelve days down the road for a trip across the Okeechobee Waterway. I faced my first experience as a single hander with a serious case of dry mouth and sweaty palms. I encountered my first "situation" within 30 seconds of casting off the lines. With the engine gunning at 3200 rpm in reverse, I was still in the slip and barely moving. "I think I'm aground," I yelled to the dock hand who had come to help me out of the slip. He shook his head. "I don't think so," he yelled back over the roar of the engine. "You're fighting a four-knot current. You might want to wait a few hours for slack tide." Dubiously, I looked over the side and saw that he was right. The strong tidal current on the aft quarter was not only pushing the boat into the slip, but was also pinning it against the dock. I thought I had calculated the tide to be in my favor, but I had obviously erred. Yes, it would be prudent to wait a while before trying to depart. But I wanted to get gone. Reluctant single hander I might be, but I had psychologically girded myself to go and I didn't want to sit around any longer. So, with the dock hand's help and innovative use of stern lines, we managed to push the boat away from the dock and swing the aft end out and around the end of the finger pier. With the throttle pegged at "flank speed ahead" I slowly motored away against the current. I was on my solo way. That first day of my reluctant voyage remained anxiety-ridden thanks to tricky currents, speeding powerboat wakes, surly bridge tenders, and menacing shoals-conditions all fairly easily managed with my partner sitting in the cockpit, but highly daunting with Trish sitting back in her Houston apartment. I had only planned a 23-mile run that day, but by the time I made it to Cocoa Beach Marina, I felt like I'd gone 100 miles. Neptune acknowledged me for my hard work. I swung the boat into the marina channel, executed a tight 270-degree turn in the fairway, headed into my assigned slip, and deftly backed down to park boat one foot from the dock. Thank heavens that went well, I thought as I walked forward to toss the bow line to the dock hand. "Nice job, captain," he said. "And that's a beautiful boat." "Thanks," I replied with an outward air of self-confidence. A nice reward to receive at the end of a nail-biter of a day. I went on to cover the 275 miles from St. Augustine to Stuart in ten days. There were tense moments and a few downright hairy ones, but I made it. Even though single handing is definitely not my thing, I'm glad and proud that I did it, and did it competently. I have more confidence in my self-sufficiency, and I believe I'm a better sailor as a result of the experience. Given the way our lives are set up at the moment, with Trish sometimes away for long stretches, I will likely be single handing again from time to time. There are probably other cruising couples that encounter situations where the skipper needs to single hand, perhaps reluctantly, so I will offer these observations: Assuming that your basic boating skills are well established, don't unduly fear soloing. Granted, the anxiety level may run high at times, but overall it's not that bad. In fact, I recommend doing it just for the experience, even if circumstances don't demand it. That way, if you do have to do a solo stretch at some point, you'll be confident that you can. Prepare yourself and your boat well, take your time and be extra cautious. Have everything you need within reach in the cockpit at the start. Then lighten up and try to have fun! See Ten Essentials for Reluctant Single Handing, the latest addition to Skip Tips.
TAKE HER SAILING HOLIDAY SPECIAL So many of you took advantage of the introductory offer for the new audio CD of booklet #1 that I extended in the last issue of Nuts & Boats that Iwant to continue the offer in an expanded form. I have printed a limited number of hard copy versions of THS Booklet #1: Cruising on a Boat: Joining the World's Largest Village and am offering them for $11.97, the same price as the electronic version. In addition, I am offering a bundle of the hard copy booklet and the audio CD for $24.97. This is a great way to keep those cruising plans alive, even while you are commuting to work or shoveling snow off the driveway! Both offers are plus shipping at $4.95 for U.S. Priority Mail; check with me for other domestic and for international rates. To purchase these special holiday offers, click on the appropriate link below. Purchase THS Booklet #1 Hard Copy ($11.97 plus shipping) Purchase THS Booklet #1 Hard Copy and Audio CD ($24.97 plus shipping)
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